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?I have a soon to be three year old son / only child. ?Since my husband started to travel a great deal for work (8 months now) my son has become a homebody, refusing to leave the house.? During the winter months, I just went with it. ?We stayed in, never going out to the library, gym, see friends (I was going crazy) but soon Spring arrived and he seemed a bit better.? Lately he?s reverted. ?All he wants to do is be home, watching Winnie the Pooh while playing with his cars.? The odd time we do go out to a farm / walk / visit a friend (you name it we try and do it) and he wants to go home as soon as we arrive.? I try and schedule play-dates but as soon as another boy bumps him or takes a toy, he gets upset and wants to go back in the house.
I have chosen to be a stay-at-home mum, thinking he and I would have great adventures, going on bike trails, me jogging with him in the stroller, going to dog parks ? but it?s been 8 months and I feel like it?s just easier to be at home ? I can clean the house, get some freelance work done, and let him do his thing, however not what I had in mind of how I saw myself parenting.
Will I ever get ?my? life back where I can be more active both physically and socially without my toddler throwing a fit every time?I am having a conversation with an adult, be it a friend or a cashier?
Many thanks in advance.
Sheila
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?Get your life back by immediately assuming your role as the parent.? In the best interest of you, your husband, and your toddler begin organizing the family schedule to balance at home and away time.? No matter what you plan or don?t plan, your child is a toddler and most likely will negatively respond to suggestions.? Toddlers play out their stage of development with many demands and rebuttals to your requests.? Toddlers work hard at establishing their sense of self and this is definitely different from yours.? Recognize this milestone and you will be able to earnestly guide your toddler through this stage with remarkable skills.
Although the standard toddler response is ?No!? ?you need to reply with realistic and age-appropriate options.? You might suggest a trip to the market?a realistic choice.? Or, suggest that you spend an hour at the park or the museum, another realistic choice.? Avoid condoning ?doing nothing? unless you and the child are physically unable to travel.? Comfort at home offers toddlers a world that can be controlled and this may justify why your toddler wants to remain there.? However, your parental duty requires you to gently introduce him to other children while broadening his world to include libraries, hiking trails, aquariums, workshops, airports, arboretums, and yes, other children.
Balance your schedule to ensure that you expose him not only to age-appropriate activities but those that are within your expectations.? Avoid pushing ?play dates? on younger than 4+ year-olds.? Your time is best spent broadening his appreciation of the environment and community.? A playgroup for parents and toddlers might be a great way to begin because you will be able to interact with the other adults and your son can begin playing alongside other toddlers.
One last item, focus on preparation for all scheduled activity away from home.? Include your toddler in charting out the week?s plan so he can anticipate the experiences and you can prep him for the sights and sounds.? Children do much better when they have been informed and are prepared to meet people and experience new places.
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